To Be Or Not To Be......

The burden of existence seems to weigh me down at times. Don't get me wrong, I love life; the fresh air I breathe in, (well not so fresh anymore, environmental hazards, global warming, the list goes on); the lovely people that put a smile on my face, (some have made me cry, maybe not  intentionally but the deed was done), my dreams; (many of my aspirations have not played out as i imagined). I'm no pessimist, I still enjoy  the tranquility and wildness of nature, the soul in music, the excitement in laughter, the security in belonging, the ecstasy in fulfillment. Whilst I do not mean to be negative, you will agree with me that all the things that make life worth living have the other side of the coin. The wisest and wealthiest man who lived years back once said; everything is futile, nothing makes sense.He must have been struck with the same burden. He acquired so much but still didn't think anything he possessed was worth it. You may also have  vivid experiences that have made you consider this burden of existence.

So what is the point of  life, really;- i have asked, and thankfully my search provided answers. Even though I have stumbled on the answer, I keep musing to replay the answer in my head and add more insight to my knowledge. "To Be" is deeper than to survive or to exist. Really living to ones potential and design doesn't just happen. If it does, we'll all be made and fulfilled- with no reasons for regrets or depression or suicide or complexes. "To Be" is a responsibility, it is a conscious effort to make ones life count- the price is so enormous that I sometimes wonder if i can ever pay. It costs discipline, genuineness, thirst for knowledge and a lot more. I have even discovered that there are some levels in appreciating and  enjoying life that i have not experienced because of what i do not know. The depth of our appreciation of a thing is proportional to the level of our knowledge about it.

Many however, have chosen the easy way out, staying in their comfort zone, coast through life without depth, accept anything that comes, indifferent of themselves and their environment. Why should we give up on something that we have not fully explored? how can we conclude a matter that we have not even scratched the surface? I am daily discovering that life is deeper and richer than i have experienced in the past years and I choose to give it all it takes to really enjoy it. I am continually transiting from my comfort zone to exceptional living in pursuit of excellence. Although it sometimes feels like i take one step forward and two steps backward; sometimes I'm full of faith, charging forward, caring less of the obstacles, other times I  feel like quitting- stopping all attempts to progress. I have concluded that i cannot make it through with only determination, because determination itself doesn't make sense some times- a higher BEING must help me through this journey of life. I really desire to walk not crawl, to run not walk, to fly not run. I sense that i' m made for more.I got to be a super daughter, wife, mom and friend to say the least.

Another wise man shows me how; Here comes the wisest man of all times; he is in control of the present, the past, the future, the existing and the non- existing; the beginning, the end and the gap in between. He speaks of living life to the fullest- he speaks of enjoying a robust life, he talks about joy, peace, rest, beauty, love,  and friendship, with so much swag and confidence. He affirms that this life was designed by him for a reason- no mistake; we are no accident trying to get by, he also affirms that he has everything needed in abundance to sustain everything in existence. this is more than comforting for me i tell you.

Although a lot of things are still not right in the world; the air is still not pure and mean people are still mean, although i haven't unraveled all the puzzles of my being, neither do i know which of my aspirations will play out as planned, I have decided to enjoy life to its fullest. I refuse to float through life without squeezing out the juice in every moment, I refuse to live life without soaring on the wings of faith and achieving the impossible.  I am going to enjoy life so much that my maker will be glad he made me. He'll say; you got the gist girl-  you give me pleasure. Oh i long to hear this from him, Oh i ask for grace to live so, grace to be all he intended me to BE.

What do you think about this?